Eat Pray Love while listening to The Misfits (probably going to work again, 2011)

On the airplane.  No headphones with the film.  But I was listening to Static Age.  It’s a completely strange juxtaposition, and I sincerely doubt that they are the intended soundtrack and visual accompaniment.

Here’s what I think may have happened in Eat Pray Love: Julia Roberts has no direction in life.  She enjoys eating.  She also enjoys praying.  And I’d throw a wild guess out there that she also likes loving.

Among other handsome bachelors she happens upon are a Mr. James Franco, armed with his arsenal of boyish charm, a Mr. Richard Jenkins, armed with his arsenal of old-man charm, and a Mr. Javier Bardem, armed with his arsenal of Spanish charm.  What horse would you take in this race?  Jenkins has to be the clear underdog (sorry Rich), but an upset isn’t unimaginable.  Did you see the man in The Visitor for god’s sake?  He learned to play the bongos!  The freaking bongos!

Now if I’m laying real money with 5-2 odds (I don’t know that I entirely know how that works) I’m going with Bardem.  Why, you ask?  Well, I’ll answer this question and satisfy your insatiable curiosity: Julia Roberts within the film is clearly interested in what roles her leading men have played outside of the film.  It’s only logical.  Now Franco may have done his share of indie roles, but Bardem was in Live Flesh.  Game set and match.  Now you don’t have to watch the movie!  You’re welcome!

Other things happen that seemed mildly interesting.  Julia Roberts couldn’t meditate because of a fly (I hate it when that happens).  She tried to learn Italian and I’m pretty sure ordered food with moderate success.  She looked longingly into her past, which mostly involved Senor Franco.  It’s as though, through the magic of airplane pan-and-scan cinema, Franco was actually right next to her.

What you didn’t see coming is that I’m actually talking about Francisco Franco.  Who could have foreseen a little dictator-loving?

At one point Last Caress came on.  It’s really weird to hear Glenn Danzig say ‘sweet lovely death I am waiting for your breath, come sweet death, one last caress,’ while Julia is housing a plate of spaghetti.  Oddly enough it makes Julia Roberts seem just a little bit more badass and The Misfits seem like a buncha softies, both of which are probably true in real life.

My favorite part of the film was when Bardem almost hit Julia with his car.  Theme for a Jackal was on, and there was definite synchronicity.  It’s like The Wizard of Oz and Dark Side of the Moon.  But the syncs are better here, man, way better.  None of that stupid bell ringing.  Full on collisions can sync to any part of a song as long as there’s a drum.

In the end I was disappointed with the film.  I think this review speaks for itself.

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About dcpfilm

Shooting, teaching, writing and watching the Phillies.
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2 Responses to Eat Pray Love while listening to The Misfits (probably going to work again, 2011)

  1. Ben Nager Sadoff says:

    You must have been flying delta. I had an eerily similar experience just last week where I watched Eat Pray Love on the plane while listening to my own music. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t missing much by not hearing the dialogue…Bardem was the obvious choice.

  2. dcpfilm says:

    Ha! Delta indeed. Great call. Someone needs to rewrite that script and add Norm MacDonald to the race. That would at least make it interesting.

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